Last week, I invested hours of time trying to solve a preschool problem.
At drop off on Tuesday morning, we were handed a sealed envelope with our child’s name on it. I assumed that it was something to do with enrollment for next fall. Our drop off system doesn’t really allow for lingering. We pull up into the circle, leave the car running, run our child in, and head back out to move ahead for the next car. There are always parents waiting behind, so you need to move quickly. I was back in my car before the car ahead of me, so I had a moment to open the envelope and skim the contents. Then I read it again and almost cried.
Our beautifully traditional, nurturing, play based preschool was a beautiful place. One of the things that I adored was that it truly allowed preschoolers to be preschoolers. You couldn’t make the program more intense. Three year olds went two half days, four year olds went three. That’s five hours of school for a three year old, nine for a four year old.
The only option for four year olds next year is five days. Twenty five hours a week (and less important, but still worth mentioning, at over triple the current tuition). The director offered no detailed explanation, merely saying that this would allow them to build the academic curriculum they felt was necessary. It’s not a huge jump to figure out where this is coming from.
Kindergarten, at least in our state, is becoming the new first grade. Academically intensive, requiring endurance, a rigorous curriculum, and less focus on play. So preschool is now expected to become the new kindergarten.
(By the way, preschool is becoming a private kindergarten, that parents are now required to pay for. No parent at our current preschool would qualify for public preschool, but many cannot afford the “new preschool” either).
The theory is that if kindergarten is full academic days, preschool needs to approach that. Our kids, coming from a nurturing, play based, traditional program, would be considered “behind” and “not prepared for the current educational system”.
It’s not just our school. Friends of mine have been complaining that their three year olds are coming home with worksheets and homework. They worry that the teachers are telling them their three year old boys are behind because they “struggle to complete their paper and pencil work”.
When did we become afraid to let preschoolers be preschoolers? When did having the energy of a three year old boy make you “behind”?
Maybe I’m out of the ordinary, but I sent my daughter to school at three years old so she could learn to share, to play with children her age, to follow directions, and to learn independently from me.
Notice I didn’t say the alphabet, colors, shapes, or counting. There is such a variance between these skills in preschoolers. My daughter is extremely bright and at three and a half, is beginning to read with sight words and words that are easily sounded out. She doesn’t like to write. So at home, we read as much as she likes, and I make sure we have the markers out so she can doodle. Her academics come from me right now.
Did I think preschool was still valuable? Yes.
Do I think it will be under the new program? No.
Can we afford it? Yes (with some creativity in our budget).
Do I think it is worth that money? No.
I think she’ll absolutely adore being the “smart kid” as her class drills letters she’s known since she was two, but I don’t think she’ll continue moving forward the way she has been.
I think she’ll begin to dread the sight of markers and paper as she traces letter after letter.
I think she’ll come home exhausted every day, with no desire to continue learning.
I think she won’t have the energy to participate in the classes she loves right now, like dance, cooking and gymnastics.
There’s a trickle-down effect. It’s inevitable. If our kindergarteners are expected to behave as first graders, then our four year old preschoolers need to behave as kindergarteners.
So do our three year olds need to behave as four year olds?
And if we want a play based, nurturing environment, do we need to make sure we get it at two?
Please don’t misunderstand me. If your child attended a full day, full time preschool and thrived, I’m happy for you. There are programs that are wonderful and children who develop no academic issues from this early push other than a thirst for knowledge.
But, most likely, that was your choice. Maybe you work full time and this was your childcare. Maybe you stay home but fell in love with a program. It seems like we’re not getting that choice anymore. You get full time (and pay for it) or you don’t go.
We’ve made our choice. We’re sitting this one out. My daughter will continue to develop her academic skills. We will continue her enrichment classes and potentially build on them, allowing her to explore other interests with other children her age. And most importantly, she’ll have time to play.
I’m choosing to let my four year old be four. To be a kid.
Meredith is a former teacher and current stay-at-home mom of two toddler girls. She shares stories, reflections an anecdotes about the silly, sweet and funny moments of mommy life. Read her blog, From Meredith to Mommy.